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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield? Because the stalks are all ears."

"I broke up with my girlfriend because I like my women like I like my coffee Without other people's dicks in it."

"clever pupil makes fool his teacher PUPIL: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: off course not. PUPIL: good, because I didn't do my homework."

"Why don't they play poker in Africa? Too many cheetahs"

"*goes down on escalator Escalator: I have a boyfriend"

"What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn? You can't play football with the remote."

"Your plastic surgery looks amazing. Your rotting, lifeless corpse is going to look so young. The other corpses will be so jealous."

"Ted Cruz thinks: 1. Presidents should pray every day 2. More prayers the better 3. Muslims pray 5x day 4. Ted Cruz wants a Muslim president."

"please pray for my sons Thursten and Gorse who have just glued themselves to a curtain,"

"Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't have to be a complete idiot. Just be the best idiot you can be."