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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn? You can't play football with the remote."

"Teacher: I'd like to go through one whole day without having to tell you off. Pupil: You have my permission !"

"Why did the skeleton go alone to prom? Because he had *nobody* to go with."

"What did one buttcheck say to the other buttcheck? After all the shit that has been between us, we will never be apart."

"In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter.. ..so I failed her!"

"Clueless shark. Why did the clueless shark keep swimming in circles? A : It had a bleed on its tail fin."

"What's the best lake to go motorboating? Lake Titicaca"

"Safety first. Just kidding, coffee first. Safety's like third or fourth."

"He's an owl with an attitude. She's a hawk who will take him to church. This fall, Sundays become Fundays on ABC's new hit 'Birds of Pray'!"

"What was the name of the Polish limo driver? Piccop Andropoff."