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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix birth Control and Lsd? A good trip without kids."

"My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works."

"You'd think that atoms bonding would mean they're being friendly to each other, but instead they steal each others electrons. How ionic."

"I took a vacation to a city in France. It was Nice."

"What do you call someone who's pretending to be from Sicily? Amoxicillin"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? One can finish a race."

"Anyone that tells you beer isn't a solution clearly didn't pay attention in science class."

"What do you call a handjob in a swimming pool? A pull noodle"

"I don't understand the concept of foreskin It goes right over my head"

"What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."