197512
Joke of the Day
"What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."
Next Joke
"Isn't it weird how something that's used as PUNISHMENT as a child becomes a sexual act once we're older? Like oral sex."
"there is literally nothing i care enough about to go on a hunger strike"
"Q: What kind of limes open doors? A: Key limes."
"What do you get the man who has everything? Antibiotics"
"Why did the ""M&M;"" go to university? He wanted to become a ""Smartie"""
"My grandpa has a heart of a lion... ... and a lifetime ban from the zoo."
"Did you know that Kraft is building a factory in Jerusalem? They're calling the operation Cheesus of Nazareth..."
"My mother and father switched roles; I can't see them anymore. They're trans-parents. Sorry. ;)"
"When you accidentally type ""me"" instead of ""my"" I read your tweets as if you are a leprechaun."