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Joke of the Day

"Q: Have you heard about the new Iraqi Air Force exercise program? A: Each morning you raise your hands above your head and leave them there."

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"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."
"Why was 5 afraid of 6? Because 6 7 8! ...(in honor of May 4th Star Wars day)..."
"There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who can extrapolate from incomplete data,"
"What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out!"
"Got a couple of real nice piles of dog shit on your lawn there. Sure would be a shame if something was to... you know, ""happen"" to them."
"A man walks into a doctors office A man walks into a doctors office and says Man: ""Doctor, Doctor! I have 5 penises!!"" Doctor: ""That's amazing! How do your pants fit?!"" Man: ""Like a glove."""
"I think I'll TiVo my kids and watch them later."
"Relax, folks. The dentist apologized for killing #CecilTheLion after he found out Cecil was famous. He meant to murder a NON-famous lion."
"Guy runs into a bar, yells ""Quick! How tall is a penguin?"" Bartender says ""Three feet tall."" Guy says ""Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"""