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Joke of the Day

"Since 1782, at the age of 12, Beethoven was composing some of the greatest music ever, of course since 1827 all he has been doing is decomposing."

"Meg's mother was visiting her daughter at camp. 'How did you find the steak dinner?' she asked. 'With a magnifying glass!'"

"Adding ""family"" to words sucks out all the fun: Vacation? Family vacation. Car? Family car. Movie? Family movie. Affair? Family affair."

"[escorted out of google hq with armful of snakes at 9:02am on my 1st day] WELL MAYBE U SHOULDA CLARIFIED WAT U MEANT BY ""PYTHON PROGRAMMER"""

"What video game system do police officers play in their cars? Wii U, Wii U, Wii U..."

"Ke$ha is what would happen if a garbage can came to life."

"I found Zoloft delays my orgasm Ey, Jack, you late."

"My parents always told me my grandpa was a magician. I never believed them until I saw him walking down the street when he turned into a bar!"

"What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever."

"What's the difference between a herpes and jacuzzi? i let women know that i have a jacuzzi"