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Joke of the Day

"Finished my first short film. It's a horror/drama that will scare and make you weep. It's basically just footage of me naked."

"My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, ""There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!"" I got detention after asking which end."

"Grandpa walks into a drug store Grandpa: ""I'd like to buy 99 condoms."" Clerk: ""Why don't you take 100?"" Grandpa: ""Hey, hey! I'm not a rapist!"""

"Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anybody to know he fuc%ing the chicken"

"What's a mohel's favorite drink? Bloody D"

"I really hate seeing old people fall over, it makes me feel so bad. Maybe I should stop tripping them over."

"alcoholic alzheimer's anonymous. No one knows who they are, or what they're drinking."

"What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone? You can't hear a vitamin."

"I'm actually kind of handsome when you're drunk and the light is low and there's no other dudes around and you have low standards."

"My girlfriend had a sexual fantasy to roleplay as a 14 year old in bed. I think it's pretty gross. Besides, she'll be 14 in 2 years anyway."