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Joke of the Day

"I really hate seeing old people fall over, it makes me feel so bad. Maybe I should stop tripping them over."

"Do you know what 6.9 is? A good thing screwed up by a period."

"Why did Einstein marry his cousin? It's all relative."

"When I was young I did stupid things because I didn't know any better. Now I know better and do stupid things because I miss being young."

"A blind man walks into a bar. And a chair. And a table."

"I just bought some ""ribbed cotton tank t-shirts"" at WalMart. You'd think that'd be the one place on earth they'd call them wifebeaters."

"My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is getting better!"

"Why doesn't Superman watch Game of thrones? Because he has a LED-TV."

"You know you've overplayed Mario Kart 64 when the next morning you Instinctively swerve to avoid a banana skin on the road."

"Can't believe tomorrow is Take Your Alcohol to Work Day."