190800

Joke of the Day

"My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, ""There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!"" I got detention after asking which end."

"Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better."

"What do you call a sterile fruit? A cantaloupe."

"I have seasonal depression I'm depressed in the spring, summer, fall and winter"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass."

"Did you hear that Darth Vader made some toast? It was a little on the dark side."

"Some advice to you lovers out there... They may say you cantaloupe, but honeydew it anyways."

"I've just hired a hot 19 year-old Swedish girl with massive tits to babysit my kids. Now... Where the fuck do I get some kids from?"

"What happens when you piss off a pepper? They get jalapeno business."

"First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I it must be launch time !"