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Joke of the Day

"Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anybody to know he fuc%ing the chicken"

"Went to ""The Social Network."" I ran into people I didn't like in high school and they kept showing me pictures of their kids."

"I was addicted to hokey pokey. But I turned myself around."

"All Trump has to say to beat Hillary in the debates ""I know Hillary can be bought. I have the receipts."""

"How does good king Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp, and even."

"On a scale of 1 to 10 you can't even weigh yourself unless you are an infant or leprechaun or something."

"I saw a one legged man with no arms at the ATM today... He asked me to help him check his balance.... So I pushed the fucker over."

"What did one coffin say to the other? Is that you coughin'?"

"THIS IS THE COPS, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP ""No"" WE WON'T ASK AGAIN ""No"" Ok guys, let's go. We can't ask again"

"So called ""Trader"" Joe's wouldn't let me pay with furs or rum or even live birds."