181647

Joke of the Day

"Kim Kardashian settles lawsuit with Old Navy over stealing her likeness; also settles with The Gap over stealing her nickname."

"My Uncle said this now that there are two popes Two popes walk into a bar with Yankee caps on. The bartender says, ""Didn't you guys use to be Cardinals?"""

"[maintains eye contact while slowly rearranging the dishwasher]"

"That awkward moment when you check the price tag and then slowly walk away."

"Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves"

"Pet peeve. Toilets that flush 4 me the moment I stand. I'd like to see the work I've done before it's violently ripped from my view. #life"

"I always hang on the rim after I dunk because it's really high up and I'm scared."

",,,,,, Find me a rainbow. I never understand lyrics anyway."

"My New Years resolution would have been to stop procrastinating so much Except I never got around to writing that one down..."

"Q: Why are manhole covers round? A: Because if they were square, you couldn't play twiddlywinks with them."