102397

Joke of the Day

"Hey girl, are you a derivative? Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves"

"I would never want to join the Boy Scouts of America They're just a bunch of BS"

"A whale is having a conversation with its son. Son: ""Hey Dad, where did I come from?"" Dad: ""From my dick, son"" Son: ""Uhhh, thanks?"" Dad: ""You're whalecum"""

"I always go the extra mile, which is why I was fired from Uber."

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."

"I queued up for ages to get cod earlier... ...but they sold out, so I got a battered sausage instead."

"*writes 'amount to something' on bucket list* *crosses it out* *writes 'mount something'* Yeah. That's do-able."

"Someone stole the coffin at my grandfather's funeral. I couldn't bereave it!"

"I have created a subreddit dedicated to all times that OP doesn't deliver The link is in the comments"

"I was reading about two ships that collided at sea. One was carrying red paint and the other blue paint and all the sailors were marooned."