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Joke of the Day
"[maintains eye contact while slowly rearranging the dishwasher]"
Next Joke
"sure the Victoria's Secret models are pretty, but I bet not one of them ever finds a Cheeto in her bra"
"The area of a pie So I asked my maths teacher how to find the area of the pie I had made that day. He said, easy, you use the are formula A=r2. I said, no this is a circular pie."
"[steps off treadmill] ""Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--"" ""Shall I call an ambulance?"" ""Please."""
"I heard fish is good for your brain but now I can't get the smell out of my hair"
"The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm ""no longer allowed in the library""."
"If you love something, let it go. Unless that thing is a cat. Your cat will not come back."
"My driving teacher asked me where the gas is: ""Second door on the right."""
"I spend a lot of time contemplating the mysteries of life, like why the wall the natives built to keep Kong out had a Kong-sized door in it."
"What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a girl. The knife has a point"