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Joke of the Day

"I lost my dog and I don't know if I'll ever find him. I don't have collar ID."

"What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A pool table."

"WIFE: omg the FBI ME: thats just female body inspectors W: why are they here M: probably all those female bodies we buried W: o yah lol"

"A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. ""Cool, where'd you get that?"" says the bartender. ""Africa"", replies the parrot. ""They're all over the place."""

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares.. But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"I'd like to commit suicide to get rid of my indecisiveness but I don't wanna jump into conclusions."

"Guess a movie funded by reddit featuring Tom Hanks and Matt Damon.???? Shaving Pao's Privates. ;)"

"Why does a dog lick his balls? Because he can't curve his paw into a little fist"

"I don't trust this 'would you like cash back' bullshit. I'm trying to give you my money, but you're also trying to give me my money? Weird."

"Typographers will appreciate this Stereotype"