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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting..."

"The cure for premature ejaculation is coming soon."

"I got a blow up doll, that was Made in Baghdad Problem is... it blew itself up"

"I wanted to ride my bike, But it was two tired."

"After a few bites of sunflower butter I've never been more fully prepared to buy a Prius."

"If you commit a crime be sure to wear running clothes, so if you need to flee the scene cops will just think ""Look at that healthy jogger"""

"Just heard my neighbor say ""Wow"" from inside her house about the fart I just did inside mine."

"build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call a Mexican in Canada? ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!"

"asked my dentist out but she brushed me off, said she only dates plaque guys Not gonna paste any more time on that cavitease, it's her floss"