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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever had a female horse escape from the stables into the forest in the late evening? It's a nightmare."

"What do you call a racist cereal? Special KKK"

"It makes sense why women hate premature ejaculation so much Our whole lives we're taught that nothing worth having comes easy."

"My sons kidnappers: if u ever want to see your son alive, press 1. Para Espanol marque dos Me: ugh i just want to speak to a real person"

"Lately I go to the restroom at the movies, but forget where I'm seated then return & just begin a new life in a new seat with a new family."

"[GF comes home to find our son alone] Where are you? I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: [soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice] I AM"

"""Flight 1234 for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees.."" ""But Center we are at 35000 feet how much noise can we make up here?"" ""Sir have you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727?"""

"What's 12 inches long and snaps a cunt? A selfie stick"

"I made a belt out of $100 Bills. It's a waist of money."

"Me: Pull my finger. Doctor: Ok. [finger detaches] Me: AAAAHHHHH! Doctor: AAAAHHHHH!!! ME: haha j/k that's actually why I came in."