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Joke of the Day

"[GF comes home to find our son alone] Where are you? I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: [soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice] I AM"

"Used to be a stoner..... but I got all of that out my system in high school."

"It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle. She tried putting batteries in it."

"Did you here about the Jewish son who asked his father for $50? The father says - ""40 dollars, what do you need 30 dollars for?"""

"How big are headphones going to get before we just start to wear helmets with subwoofers inside them?"

"What is Kylo Ren's favorite drink? Supreme Liter Coke."

"TV playback craziness [Through the eyes of Adrienne Hedger](https://www.facebook.com/HedgerHumor/photos/pb.630201143662377.-2207520000.1443863939./1179935295355623/?type=3&theater). :)"

"A necklace and a little plane on it. The man was staring at the little plane on the woman's necklace The woman: Do you like the plane? The man: No! I like the airport."

"I've been hitting ""remind me later"" for about the last 4 years on Adobe."

"I just made up a joke. Knock knock... Who's there? A mister. A mister who? A mister rains down in Africa. ... works better if you say it out loud."