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Joke of the Day
"Chuck Norris won the Origami Championship in 1983...folding a rock"
Next Joke
"The doctor told me I only had 2 years to live so I shot him The judge gave me 30 years."
"another vampire joke for you guys. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other? ""see you next month."""
"Kids these days can't do shit without #Google. When I was a kid I didn't have Google. So, I pretty much couldn't do shit."
"You know what's wrong with baptism? They don't hold them under long enough."
"If greens are the staples of a healthy diet... I'm gonna need some paperclips."
"Whenever your girlfriend tells you she's on her period remember not to say things like ""that explains it."""
"My fine art and fragrances business has failed. The perfumes sold well, but I didn't really know how to market the paintings I'd bought. I've got more Monet than scents"
"WIFE: *filing for divorce* ME: Are you mad at me?"
"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ear."