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Joke of the Day

"I'm working out again in hopes that I can wear my superhero shirt in public without someone saying, ""Batman really let himself go""."

"I like my women how I like my coffee, Without a penis."

"I once met a girl with 12 nipples... Sounds funny. Dozen tit."

"I'm worried I won't pass my stress test"

"What does a painter do when he gets cold? Puts on another coat."

"""I was going home with someone new every night. I didn't even know their names, and you know what? I didn't care."" - class hamster memoir."

"My Twitter clique is basically five or six people who have mistaken me for someone else."

"What sort of dance do fish do at parties ? The conga !"

"What do you call it when a Catholic renovates his kitchen? A counter reformation."

"me: I want to travel to the victorian era & meet a real gentleman [takes time machine back to 1860 England] man: 31? what are u my grandma?"