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Joke of the Day

"So my foreign professor overheard some attractive girls talking about how they like it long and hard. The exam the next morning sucked."

"What was Jamie Bulger's favourite Bob Dylan album? 'Blood on the Tracks'."

"*wakes up in hospital* What happened? ""It was a heart attack"" Will I be ok? *a big heart outside slowly taps on window with a bat* ""No"""

"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"

"What do you get when you cross a Jehova's Witness with a Hell's Angel? Someone who knocks on your door and tells YOU to fuck off."

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizzas didn't scream when Hitler put them in the oven."

"How many men does it take to get an Amish woman pregnant? Two men a nite."

"4/21 International Drug Test Day!!!!"

"What do you call an illegal immigrant and a pedophile fighting? Alien Vs Predator"