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Joke of the Day

"Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one."

"The population of Ireland keeps expanding exponentially It just keeps Dublin and Dublin"

"Was told to fuck bitches and get money. All I got was charged with bestiality"

"I'm a pediatrician. Oh, so you're into feet? Uh no...children. Isn't that illegal?"

"How to ride an escalator Step 1."

"""I enjoy short walks to the fridge"" - Fat people personal ads"

"I'm switching all of my clocks to a 24-hour format... ...making it much easier to wait til 5 o'clock to start drinking"

"[plane] ""Is there a doctor on board?"" Im a doctor ""Okay quick the passenger is having a heart att- Of fine arts ""What?"" Doctor of Fine Arts"

"Did you hear about the alligator who couldn't get a hard-on? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"Apostrophes are important. ""I fed the dog"" ""I f'ed the dog"" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it."