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Joke of the Day

"Two blondes walk into a library That's the joke"

"Eat food with the fridge open in front of the other food to establish dominance as well as prepare for the next feeding."

"Goldsmiths, what is your profession? Au, Au, Au."

"Taco emergency ? Call 9 Jaun Jaun"

"The most unrealistic part of The Martian movie was... CNN's coverage did not involve speculation about whether Joe Biden would also get stuck on Mars"

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""Do you serve food here?"" The bartender replies, ""No."" So the ham sandwich walks out."

"[At Fancy Restaurant] Her: I'll have the oxtail topped with quail egg. Him: Gimme a steak. Her: *glares Him: Uhh, topped with a Cadbury?"

"Always remember these 2 words in your life which will open many doors to you. Push and pull."

"TIL of a man who masturbated in public for 16 hours straight before police arrived. He was wrist strained."

"*Interviewing for waiter position* I feel like I bring a lot to the table"