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Joke of the Day

"What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey! (Edit: Say it out loud if you don't get it)"

"Clocks Joke Grandfather clocks have this weird love/hate relationship with insects in that termites are bad, but they're supposed to tick."

"She doesn't follow Newton's law I give her a stare but she doesn't give me an equal and opposite reaction"

"What do you call it when Hitler is constipated? Ow-shits"

"My dad got fired recently for sleeping on the job. He didn't like being a pilot that much anyway."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - LAPD Barbie ...comes with two nightsticks in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available."

"Why do cannibals hate Pentecostals? Because they're always throwing up their hands."

"I have a joke thats more fucked up than it is funny. Why do guys slap girls butts? To make sure thier guts dont fall out. Sry"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Becker ! Becker who ? Becker the devil you know !"

"The forecast isn't calling for rain so I'm just going to wash my car to prove the weatherman wrong"