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Joke of the Day

"A blind man walks into a bar and a table...and a chair"

"Q: What's Irish and sits outside in the summertime? A: Paddy O'Furniture!"

"It's a shame that zip is not an on-the-fly compression algorithm."

"What do you call a person who speaks three languages? Trilingual! Two Languages? Bilingual! Only one language? Americans~"

"My son just told me he's changing his clock to military time so he can stay up later. He is not a smart boy."

"Ever made love under a mirrored ceiling? I could see myself doing that."

"Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial..."

"My sleeping pills say to take them and immediately go to bed, but I feel like I have plenty of time, so km ufmcmszbv ishzn hdu flerf."

"President Clinton to maid: Mam can you do something about Hillary's room. She complains that it's the ugliest room in the White House. Maid: Yes Mr. President--I'll remove the mirrors right away."

"Enter the dragon Q: What do you call a martial arts expert with a sore patella? A: Bruised knee"