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Joke of the Day

"Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms."

"I work as a dishwasher, Its a pretty dishgusting job."

"Two boys were eating a snack lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said ""Watch out for worms won't you!"" The first one replied ""Why should I? They can watch out for themselves."""

"Knock knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin. They hatin. Patrollin and tryna catch me ridin dirty."

"CIA: So what did you call that new tracking software we put on everyone's iPhone? NSA: ""U2's New Album"""

"TAYLOR SWIFT: I knew you were trouble when you walked in ME (wearing ski mask and holding up gun): what gave it away?"

"I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago."

"I bet phone booths are disappearing because they don't want us escaping the Matrix."

"What do you give a girl who already has everything? Antibiotics"

"What do you call a cow with no sense of humor? Moody."