180989

Joke of the Day

"This is how the disaster happened. Poop : knock knock. Anal sphincter : who is this?? Poop : Fart. Anal sphincter : OK. Pass!"

"Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons? They're short of breath!"

"I want to feel the bern But that sounds too politically incorrect."

"I want a Michael Corleone in the streets and a horse head in the sheets."

"Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C."

"I tried tap dancing once... ... I kept falling in the sink."

"To understand the difference between Italians and Canadians all you need to know is two things. Italian sausage and Canadian bacon..."

"Look at your disgusting balls. That's LITERALLY exactly what Jesus wants them to look like. #Bible"

"Punish your cat by lint rolling him until he is completely gone."

"*gets in the bus* *Brings out earphones* *untangles* *arrives*"