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Joke of the Day

"I want a Michael Corleone in the streets and a horse head in the sheets."

"What's the #1 horror movie in the far east ? The Sirens of the Rams."

"Day three of MAN COLD. I feel death lurking. Its waiting for me to give up. Stay strong! Think of the cat. He'll eat you if you die."

"I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me ""just be yourself""."

"Sometimes when I look into the sky I get overwhelmed with emotion and eat the nearest entire tree and everything living in that tree"

"How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb? Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out."

"No matter how bored I get, I'll never be bored enough to go back and read through all the greeting cards I've saved over the years."

"The first guy to skip a rock was probably all sad and just trying to toss the rock in the pond and was like ""well, can't even do that right"""

"Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he'll donate $10 to Disaster Relief."

"The son to his dad * Son - Dad at last i lost my virginity- * Dad -OH! so good son, i am proud of you, come on, sit here and tell me- * Son -I don't think i could sit for a while"