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Joke of the Day

"A lawyer walks into a bar. A lawyer leaves the bar. A lawyer walks into the bar. A lawyer fails the bar because he was drunk."

"What superheroes refuse to fight in North Carolina? The X-Men"

"What do white girls celebrate on December 25th? ChristMAAAAAAAAAS"

"If a spider attacks you, you should play dead. No, wait... that's for a bear. If a spider attacks a bear, you should play dead."

"I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children"" and thought to myself, ""Sounds like a fair trade."""

"'Just 90's kids things' 40 years later Good cartoons and good eyesight"

"My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat. Waitress: Are you all finished? Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish."

"What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts."

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art not as nice as this time last year."

"What does a duck put in its burrito? Quackamole."