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Joke of the Day
"What does a duck put in its burrito? Quackamole."
Next Joke
"How to flirt: 1. Giggle 2. Apply lip gloss 3. Look down coyly 4. Realize you applied concealer 5. Fall off barstool"
"Using Latin phrases to sound smart is my modus operandi."
"Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink? So women know where to stand in the kitchen."
"If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable."
"Dear Algebra.. Stop asking us to find your X She's gone bro."
"i have a question for ron gaul why was my wife screaming your name last night?"
"Why do Scots fuck sheep at the edge of a cliff? Because they push back harder."
"Why did the nun get a free hot dog at the fair? Because she spontaneously performed fellatio on the hot dog salesman. This made him feel charitable."
"Patient: Doctor I am very nervous. You know this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry it's my first extraction too."