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Joke of the Day

"Don't you get it man? Every single person who has discovered the identity of who let the dogs out has been brutally murdered."

"Friendly Competition My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more."

"What's the best way to capitalize on an opportunity? ON AN OPPORTUNITY"

"Name your penis after a movie or a game. Oblivion."

"Which is the most religious vegetable? The Pope-tato"

"Man sticks finger into electrical socket... What happens next will shock you."

"How do you say constipated in german? Farhfrumpoopin'."

"After DST I stopped to visit my dyslexic friend... http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/12d1747cd7/the-agony-of-dyslexia"

"God is pretty creative. I mean, look at me."

"Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub? One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole."