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Joke of the Day

"Dress to impress A buddy wanted to improve his relationship with his mother-in-law by ordering her a nice dress from France. Unfortunately, she woke up while he was measuring her with a ruler.."

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"I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything."
"I drank way too much yesterday and took the fattest girl home. I ended up hammered and waisted."
"Dear Men. When a woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, you'd better shut up, grab a chair and get ready to listen...for hours."
"A fun thing to do is comment ""that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night"" on all my married friends Facebook family photos"
"What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary? I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out"
"The first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO"
"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? ...Look for the Fresh Prints..."
"Why haven't they installed a mirror on cars that only covers your blind spot?"
"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my wiener in a car exhaust pipe"