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Joke of the Day

"My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit."

"Why is owning a dog better than being in a relationship? My dog can't tell people when I beat it."

"Dad says he's practicing Tai Chi to learn how to align his 'Chi's Now, he says, he just needs to learn how to align his crackers, and he'll be able to make a perfect party platter."

"how does james bond prefer his women? shaven, not furred"

"Which profession has the worst sense of humour? Well, chiropodists like *corny* jokes. But opticians like them *cornea*."

"Want a slutty costume? Dress up like my professors, they barely cover anything important."

"Want to hear my impression of an extractor fan? I used to like tractors, but I don't anymore."

"When I moved to LA I moved in with the HOTTEST chick... But she found out I was living there and called the police."

"I wish I could see the look of surprise and wonder on my son's face when he opens his lunchbox full of tampons today. Payback for talkback."

"My girlfriend said, ""Hey, want to hear a dirty joke..."" I expected her to say ""a white horse in mud"", but she surprised me with ""your dick after we do anal""."