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Joke of the Day

"When I moved to LA I moved in with the HOTTEST chick... But she found out I was living there and called the police."

"What's Gandalf's favorite band? A Flock of Smeagols"

"My safe word is ""insufficient funds""."

"DATE: ...so that's how I ended up at Harvard Law! ME: Sometimes I make a fruit salad in my mouth by biting into different kinds of fruit LOL"

"The next terrorist attack has apparently been launched in the stall next to me in this Target bathroom."

"How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to do the changing and another to talk about how the last bulb was bigger."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can only milk a cow for 10 years."

"No, 2013, you were not the worst year. But thank you for trying."

"Why was Roy Rogers upset when he fell off his horse? He wanted a Trigger warning."

"What is a caterpillar afraid of? a dogerpillar. Sorry. It was so bad that I had to share it. Fuck you Laffy Taffy."