180513

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dog that's become the first to officially own pieces of art? He's the first dog to be able to lick his own Pollocks"

"What do you call white on the top and black at the bottom? Society."

"There's a new drug that prevents statutory rape It's called RU18."

"[speed dating] Anyway, do you have a baby hedgehog? ""No."" *I take a deep breath and roll my eyes* [timer beeps]"

"My misery loves vodka, and hates company."

"How does the Apothecary make his wife orgasm? Elixir"

"What is a Chinese person's favorite wound? Bruise Lee. I'll see myself out."

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load."

"Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. Im too lazy to do either."

"I consider myself a tolerable person, and I can care less if you are gay/straight;black/white; or conservative or liberal. The one thing I cannot tolerate, is ALL YOUR FUKN GAME REQUESTS!!!!!"