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Joke of the Day
"My misery loves vodka, and hates company."
Next Joke
"What's in a name? Boy asks a girl: Is your name WiFi? Girl: No, why? Boy: Because I am feeling a connection."
"Why does wally wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted."
"funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems necessary"
"[wife gets home] did you feed the baby his spinach today? [me doing push ups] hell no I'm not letting that baby get stronger than me"
"That certain unfocusing of the ear that allows you to understand what Donald Duck is saying is also what allows you to understand poetry"
"The Japanese flag is actually just a pie chart.. ..about how many of them are scared of Godzilla."
"Hell hath no fury like a woman whom you won't let see a picture of her you just took."
"Hear About the Restaurant on the Moon? Hear about the restaurant on the Moon? Great food but no atmosphere."
"I'll never read pride & prejudice I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me"