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Joke of the Day

"Polish joke What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name."

"The cops were called... to the local childcare because a kid was resisting a rest. 30 minutes later the cops were called back because of an apparent kid-napping."

"*trains 1 million soldier ants* *gets carried to work*"

"Today, I woke up an optimist. He punched me in the face."

"Yuck: I do not recommend Volkswagen's new Meat Lover's Jetta."

"""Wanna come to a party?"" ""Sure. I'd love to spend two whole hours standing around while people recommend TV shows to me I'll never watch."""

"i guess my favorite book would haveta be ""being and nothingness""... i was halfway done before i even started reading."

"GOD: Eyelashes ANGEL: What do they do? GOD: Protect eyes ANGEL: And? GOD: Get into people's eyes. It's extremely painful. ANGEL: Are you ok?"

"What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards? In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade."

"Rain drop, drop top.... Mariah Carey's career ended before the ball dropped."