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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing quite like a pissed off toddler trying to make her point by angrily storming away on a ride on ladybug"

"""Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"" is actually a song about everything that will hurt when you hit about 30 years old."

"I thought of pick up line that only works on mexicans. Are you Mexican? Because I wanna get jalapeno."

"Every meal I didn't have to cook myself is the best meal I've ever had."

"[whole foods] WHITE GIRL: excus me do u hav pumpkin EMPLOYEE: (hands her a pumpkin) here WHITE GIRL: no no no. PUMPKIN. its a type of spice"

"blonde joke of the day Blonde: ""What does IDK stand for?"" Brunette: ""I don't know."" Blonde: ""OMG, nobody does -"

"What is big, black, and very long? A black hole"

"The Hillary Phone Just like the Obama Phone, but it deletes all of your emails."

"SpaceX won't be drinking Champagne tonight. Every time they pop the cork it ends up back where it started..."

"Donald Sterling saying racism is not a problem is like mosquitoes saying malaria is not a problem."