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Joke of the Day

"There's nothing quite like a pissed off toddler trying to make her point by angrily storming away on a ride on ladybug"

"As an organ donor I wonder if there's some box I can check that might prevent my organs from keeping Dick Cheney alive?"

"*found in the netflix horror section* ""Mary has a secret that'll TEAR YOU APART"" Movie name: Mary piranha"

"What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!"

"Is is best to do your homework on an empty stomach or a full stomach? It's best to do it on paper."

"What do you call it when a stripper works for free? Pro Boner."

"There's someone out there for everyone. Don't worry if you're alone, your true love is just having sex with someone else right now."

"I'm not the jealous type. And no I don't know why every time you talk to someone the police find their body dumped in a river the next day."

"Crazy the only reason some people are starving and suffering in the world is because they aren't ""so blessed""."

"What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks? Half calf"