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Joke of the Day

"There's someone out there for everyone. Don't worry if you're alone, your true love is just having sex with someone else right now."

"I went into hospital for keyhole surgery. I woke up with lock-jaw. The nurses are still looking into it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To walk into a bar."

"I'll do algebra. I'll do trigonometry. I'll even do calculus! But graphing is simply where I draw the line."

"Original Yo Momma? (I think, please verify) Yo mommas so fat, shes being traded on the oil futures market!"

"Why do no communists drink Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"A guy goes to the doctor for his annual checkup, and the doctor says, ""You need to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" the man asks. The doctor replies, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"idea for haunted house: dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school"

"What did the gay guy, say to the man at the bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"Congratulations, outspoken atheists! You've made not having a religion into your religion!"