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Joke of the Day

"I have a friend who got severe burns on his hands, to the point that he is virtually senseless. I feel for him."

Next Joke
 
"That was the most exciting race between two stationary vehicles I have ever seen. #GreaseLive"
"A Blanket? It would be a fukkit."
"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."
"What do you get when you mix S&M with R&B? The Marquis de [Sade](http://i.imgur.com/srWEGsC.jpg)"
"""This one's cute."" - me picking out a watermelon. I have no idea what I'm doing."
"What comes after huehuehue? satsatsat lumlumlum"
"BOVINE HIJINX Q; What do cows do for fun? A: They go to the moo-vies!"
"Even if women came with a set of instructions, men would toss them aside without reading them."
"Life is like a box of chocolates... It runs out faster for fat people."