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Joke of the Day

"A coworker told me I was a pedophile and said I probably had a van that said ""Free Candy"" on the side. I told him that would be pointless. My target demographic can't read yet."

"...walks into a bar... A golfer, a priest and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and asks, ""What is this? Some kind of joke?"""

"Request: dead baby jokes What is worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees Sure, oldest one in the book but whatever lets hear what you got gang"

"I got a new vacuum that sucks so much, it was directed by M. Night Shamalayan"

"Whats Big, Black, Hard and full of semen? A submarine"

"I have a heroine addiction... ...because I can only sleep with a girl if she has saved somebody's life."

"macklemore could poop into his own bare hands onstage & half the write-ups would be ""ah finally a rapper who isn't obsessed with shiny cars"""

"Kid: why is my cousin named Diamond? Mother: because your auntie really loves diamonds Kid: well what about my name? Mother: never mind about that Richard."

"The meat served in IKEA's restaurant is made of people who couldn't find the way out."

"2 Dragons walk into a bar.. 2 Dragons walk into a bar; ""its hot in here"" one of them says, the other says ""shut your mouth!""."