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Joke of the Day

"BOVINE HIJINX Q; What do cows do for fun? A: They go to the moo-vies!"

"My favorite book as a child was... ...'I Fell Off Mt Everest' by Eileen Dover."

"Why do Muslims not eat pork? Because MaHamHid"

"[On stage at comedy club] ""Doritos: 11 chips per serving"" *audience erupts in laughter* ""Oreos: 3 cookies per serving"" *audience loses it*"

"What does a man with two left feet wear to the beach? Flip-Flips."

"Why did NASA hire a proctologist? To help plan the trip to Uranus."

"Sometimes I try to eat healthy but my stomach's like ""what if you die tomorrow?"" and I'm like ""good point"" and I have a whole pizza."

"Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl? He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh."

"Seriously, it's almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower."

"A Chick, A 1% and A Black Guy walk into a Bar and ask: ""What time is the next debate?"""