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Joke of the Day

"So a woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day... Apparently ""in HD"" was not an acceptable answer."

"What is the best way to pick up American girls? With a crane."

"A man and a boy are walking through the woods.. The boy turns to the man and says, ""these woods sure are scary."" The man turns to him and says, ""you're telling me, I have to walk back alone."""

"Why did Mubarak and Gaddafi get dehydrated? They didn't want water from the Arab Spring."

"There was a farmer who had a machine which caculated the angle you sat. He called it his pro-tractor"

"Listen, I'm sorry... That reaction was WAY over the line.... I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on...."

"Why is it hard to watch two elephants boxing? Because they've got the same colour trunks."

"A duck walks into rehab ""What're you here for?"" asks the desk lady. ""I'm addicted to quack."""

"We get it. If your candidate doesn't win in November, you're moving to the whitest English speaking country you can drive to."

"Why are atheists afraid of exponents? They don't believe in a higher power."