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Joke of the Day

"Listen, I'm sorry... That reaction was WAY over the line.... I actually have no problem with the horse you rode in on...."

"Hope is a single man's game... A married man can't get none ""I hope she ain't mad"" she is. ""I hope I get head tonight"" you won't. ""I hope I'm not in trouble"" you are."

"Why is it expensive to be a criminal? Because the police charge you."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To confuse pirates"

"What do you call a tropical depression on a SE Asian island? Malaise-ia"

"My favorite gift to girls... is PTSD."

"My fiance said the funniest thing out of context today. Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat Seaman."

"A feminist asked me how I saw lesbians. Apparently *in HD* wasn't the right answer."

"What did the dog say after a hard day at work ? ""Today sure was ruff"" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit , thought i'd share it :P"

"Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I'm not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know."