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Joke of the Day

"If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called? American. EDIT: My first post on Reddit and I get 1000+ up votes, thanks so much!!!"

"Whats it called when you give a dolphin food for it to do a trick? Squid Pro Quo"

"HER: Are you free Friday night? ME: Let me check my colander. HER: Your... ME: *checking* Nope, sorry, I'll be making spaghetti."

"What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant."

"So one man walks into a bar and the other one ducks."

"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"

"Tried to borrow some bread from my Indian neighbour, but he said he had naan...."

"My dentist bumped into my orthodontist. I'm sure it was acci*dental*."

"What kind of melons always have big weddings? Cantaloupe."

"You could tell my parents hated me... My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. (RIP Rodney Dangerfield)"