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Joke of the Day

"*gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go."

"I'm not into bestiality but... I do like hot dogs"

"If you zoom out during the opening credits of ""Friends,"" you'll see that the security guard who protects that fountain is DEAD."

"Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!"

"""Gunman"" is too cool-sounding. Can we start calling them something that conveys weakness, like ""pistoleer?"""

"What do a married guy and a single guy have in common? They both think the other one gets laid more."

"Why did the Mexican take Xanax? For Hispanic attacks."

"What did the horse say to the group of kids. Haaaaay you guuuysss Hahahah hope youvliked it worked pretty darn hard.comon up woth thisnfunny joke, cya hahahahha lol"

"Lazy assholes.. They just don't give a shit."

"Wait just a minute! You're not Jennifer Aniston! Oh, you got me with that avi. Well played. I knew it was to good to be true."