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Joke of the Day

"What should we call this giant advertising board? Phil: A philboard Bill: I have a better idea"

"Ted Cruz thinks: 1. Presidents should pray every day 2. More prayers the better 3. Muslims pray 5x day 4. Ted Cruz wants a Muslim president."

"What do you call a vegetable who has escaped prison? An escapea"

"What country does every one called Andy come from? Peru, because it's the home of the Andes!"

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"

"A robot walks into a bar. ""What can I get you?"" the bartender asks. ""I need something to loosen up,"" the robot replies. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."

"What's a paralympian's worst nightmare? Testing positive for WD-40"

"What's the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps? Phelps can finish a race"

"What kind of bees make milk? boo-bees"

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."