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Joke of the Day

"A robot walks into a bar. ""What can I get you?"" the bartender asks. ""I need something to loosen up,"" the robot replies. So the bartender serves him a screwdriver."

"I don't need WebMD to tell me what's wrong with me, I have my mother."

"Whats the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates."

"Joe: Okay so we sneak in one night around February, steal his shoes Obama: Joe Joe: And then dump legos all over the floor"

"What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers? Fang mail."

"Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings."

"NSFW why did the redneck cross the road...? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken."

"What band's fanbase is the most charitable? U2, they're all pro-bono."

"You guys ever smear fake blood on your mouth, put on a ripped shirt, go in somewhere and pretend you got mugged? PEOPLE ARE SO NICE!"

"Was Billy Idol? No, he was moving at the time."