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Joke of the Day

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"

"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A: A roamin' Catholic!"

"Utilizing your Miranda rights... POLICE: Anything you say will be held against you... BOY: Titties."

"I taught my 4yo how to spell 'beer' so he'll stop bringing me Pepsi from the fridge."

"Judge: Do you mix horse meat with chicken? Defendant: Yes, my lord..... Judge; How much. Def: 50:50 Jud: Please elaborate. Def: **One horse to one chicken.**"

"Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!"

"I admire feminists... Especially those with huge tits and a nice juicy ass."

"I hate horror movies where everything goes back to normal at the end. You just had a demon inside you, but yeah, let's go for pancakes."

"What do you call a baby born at 4 months gestation? Doesn't matter, still born."