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Joke of the Day
"Woke up in a graveyard. Never felt more alive."
Next Joke
"What Job will Mr Miyagi take on when he retires from Martial Arts? Plastic Surgeon. Japanese accent ""Rax on, Rax off"""
"Just got a gift for my dog. I bought my dog a cute toy from the pet shop and she immediately broke it. I demanded my money back but the manager said they won't refund a dead hamster."
"So I said 'I love you' but he didn't say it back. We haven't spoken since. Maybe he just needs space. Vet: Your cat's fine. You can go now."
"How do you kill a vampire baby? Stake and shake"
"Armadillo The world needs more armed dillos."
"A guy wire is holding a pole... ...the pole is 10 meters tall, the wire makes a 48^o angle from the ground and the very tip is 7 meters from the pole. How long until the feminists arrive?"
"I guess even though he's resigning, the pope is still against birth control- That's why he pulled out."
"To the 20 year old girl who wrote an essay claiming she is too pretty to be allowed to lead a normal life:Same."
"I farted while lifting a heavy object today. It was very embarrassing. I had to apologise to the man at the next urinal."