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Joke of the Day
"Philae comet lander wakes up [After 7 months] ""Where the *fuck* am I?!"""
Next Joke
"You ever bark back at your dog and then wonder what you just said?"
"A Jehovah's witness knocks on a Mexican's door. The Jehovah's Witness asks, would you like to know Jesus? The Mexican said, I already do. He's next door."
"Not to brag, but I have the high score on 7 different blood pressure machines around the city. *enters initials"
"What's the difference between Here and There? When you're right the whole room shouts ""Here, here!"" But when you're wrong one person pats you on the back and says ""There, there."""
"What Do You Call A Fight Between An Illegal Immigrant And A Child Molester? Alien vs. Predator"
"Ever since I got my antivirus check done on my computer. Single Asian ladies don't wanna do it with me anymore."
"Ladies, I adore you, but some of you need to cover up your t*ts and read a book"
"What do you do with a Rhinoceros with 3 balls? You walk him and pitch to the giraffe."
"So I was buying a ticket for a train from London to Paris... And the man behind the desk said, ""Eurostar?"" So I replied, ""Well I've been on TV, but I'm no Johnny Depp!"""